Am I bitter about Valentine's Day? I try not to be, but its hard to say its a day that I enjoy by any stretch of the imagination.
Its not that I don't know that I have plenty of people that love me and I know that I worship an amazing God that has unconditional, everlasting love for me. But somehow on this 1 day every year it almost feels like its not enough.
As my friends spend the day with their significant others, it almost feels like a cruel reminder from the world that I am spending the day alone. Its that quiet yet excruciatingly painful reminder that I am still single, still waiting for God to make it my time to find that special someone, that someone that fills that empty void in my heart that is only meant for the person I will spend the rest of my life with.
Its days like this that I have to go back the Genesis 2 where I am reminded that God made man and woman to be together, not to be alone, but together. I remind myself that somewhere out there God has made someone, just for me. Someone that will fill the void in my heart that's been saved for only him, side by side with the place in my heart that is fulfilled by Jesus Christ my savior.
I had a very heartfelt discussion with a friend of mine last night about how I feel like I have no patience for waiting for God and I just want God's timing to align with my timing on this subject. I feel like I have done my share of waiting and had my share of heartbreak. I ask God to grant me more patience and then I promptly ask him to hurry up. I know that God is still shaping me and he is still healing my broken places. I have come a long way over the last 3 years. I have turned my life in a direction that makes me feel like I am not constantly cheating myself. I know only God knows when I will be ready, but I am sure that it would be mighty fine if he decided I was ready tomorrow.
So with all that said, while I am currently not a fan of Valentine's Day, I am sure that someday, God will turn that around for me and allow me to feel the joy of Valentine's Day too.
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